Your Voice Has Power

Keep it in the family. How many times did you hear “Keep it to yourself, no one needs to know what happened in the family”?

So much happens within the family behind closed doors. Understandable that certain topics must remain confidential, but what happens when there is (physical, verbal, psychological, or sexual) abuse? What good does it do to keep it to ourselves simply because we want to avoid the criticism and judgement of others. I am not a psychologist or professional counselor, but I do know that any kind of abuse is traumatic and can develop feelings of distress, fear, insecurities and helplessness.

We often hear about abuse happening in the family and most times a close relative is responsible. The easiest way for the family to deal with the shame is to keep it in the dark. “Don’t talk about, don’t tell anyone, you must have provoked it, this is going to destroy our family and just stay away from him/her.” These are their solutions to deal with it and in some cases, they continue to live their lives like nothing happened. The abuser is allowed to come around the family, but the survivor is left feeling alone without family support, guilty, isolated, depressed, and dealing with the trauma throughout sleepless nights. Sometimes you question which one hurts more- the abuse or feeling like you were not supported by your own family.

In some instances the trauma leaves you feeling numbed, and affects your ability to building genuine relationships because you feel you can’t trust anyone. Other times the survivor wants to feel included and trusts too easily until they realize it is too late.

Although you may be feeling alone and isolated, remember that you are not alone. Many have suffered similar abuse and have used their pain to help others. SPEAK UP!

“Your voice has power even when you whisper.”

Elizabeth Roy

It is upsetting to see how abuse has affected your life, but keep comfort knowing you have dealt to cope with the pain with so much inner strength. This same strength will help you to heal. You speaking up will also give courage to others to speak up too.

If you are not ready to speak to your family about it, you can still begin to heal by finding outside help. Search community help centers, therapist, crisis lines for women, and or find a person you can trust to help you navigate through it all even if is moral support. You are not alone!

I am here if you need me.

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