Letter to Max

“You’re tucked in my heart like a precious jewel.“

It has taken me a couple of weeks to finally be able to write this without crying. I feel like something is missing all the time. Your bowl and collar are empty but you are still in my heart. I know it will take time and strength to mourn this loss because you were a very important part of my life.

I brought you home in Feb. 5th, 2004. You were found by our school secretary that day. Your were so tiny and had a spiked black collar that made you look so cute and irresistible. Your ears were the softest and your paws so tiny. The secretary wanted to take you home until she saw the immediate bond between us. I took you back to work for several days until someone would claim you- but luckily for me no one did.

Max you were my first pet. I found several stray animals when I was younger but my parents never let me keep them as pets. They didn’t believe in having dogs inside the house. I still think I am adopted because I thought completely different.

I had just moved in our new home and had plans to get a pet in the near future, but God had you in my plans much sooner than I had anticipated. You filled my life with so much unconditional love and laughter. I couldn’t wait to get home to go on our walks. You were pretty smart and always found your way back to the restricted area in the house, even when we had set up barriers to keep you in the kitchen.

We had compromised that we would train you well and not allow you in the bedroom or the bed, but that didn’t take long after you won my heart with your big round brown eyes. You kept me company when I was alone, you encouraged me to exercise even when I felt exhausted, you made me laugh when I felt depressed and you always had a way to get my attention by burying your tiny wet nose in my hair. Max, you made sure the bathroom and pantry doors were always closed. You had to hear that “click” to know it was completely shut. You knew the days of the week well because every weekend you cuddle with me and would make funny noises so I wouldn’t attempt to get up too early from bed. We knew exactly what you would do after we brought in the clean clothes from the dryer. Most times you would jump in the basket and hide under all the warm clothes.

We made several long road trips and you were so good at traveling. When we couldn’t take you, you would jump inside the suitcase and made us feel so guilty. We never needed to set up an alarm in the mornings because you would wake us up at the same time except when we needed to catch a flight. You were so mischievous and funny.

I’ve always had a soft spot for animals, but you Max changed my life. You opened my heart to begin rescuing every animal I found on the street. You were so well behaved that I didn’t have to do much to train you. I thought every dog was going to be as easy going as you. You filled our home with 17 years of unconditional love.

I tried protecting you from everything but couldn’t protect you from time. We exhausted every possibility but your kidneys failed us due to your age. You were so good to me and listened to my prayers of not leaving me while I was still in bed rest recovering from surgery. We were inseparable for weeks. Every morning the first thing I felt was you sharing my comfy blanket and sleeping under my arm. You always made your way from sleeping by the footboard to cuddling next to me.

For days we kept going back and forth to the vet’s office. The vet told us we had done everything we could and you had days left. Your pain would get worse and we did not want to see you struggle anymore. You were brave and strong until the end. The last hours you got so many hugs, kisses and tears. Although you didn’t want to eat anymore- you shared some chicken and potatoes with me as if your appetite had suddenly come back. I know you knew it was time. Although I said I did not have the strength to be with you in your last minutes of your life- I could not leave you when you needed me the most. I held you, your tired eyes kept looking at mine as you faded away that day. I kept your paw in my hand until the vet told me your heart had stopped and you were gone to heaven.

It was tough coming home without you and watching you paw-siblings looking for you. We all miss you everyday but we know you are in heaven running around sharing and bragging about your happy life on earth with us. I know we will see each other again and until then we will share the memories we have of you with others. We were so lucky to have had you as part of our lives.

“We Loved you your whole life

We’ll miss you for the rest of ours.”

We will always love you Max.